For now, I am not sure if I am going to move back here or keep the other blog.  I do know that I am grateful I spent the time to re-read my blog!

To access my blog go to: www.flyinghawkers.com/tauns

My blog is still publicly accessed and I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to keep all you readers doing just that…reading!

I have loved this blog…I have enjoyed learning and growing for the last 9 months on here!  I am sure I will love and enjoy my new and shiny blog just as much (okay it is just new…not shiny yet!)

The fact that this is my last birthday in my twenties, combined with “child bearing years” and the desire for more children TOTALLY makes me realize time is running short.    I feel so old and time runs by too quickly.

I have never not liked a birthday.  I love birthdays.  I think they are great days for celebrating the life of a person you love.  Today I am more excited about Ben’s birthday NEXT Tuesday than I am my own today.

This is my last number birthday…I will be 29 forever!   Boy am I going to be a REALLY old looking 29 year old in the year 2035.

For now we are moving websites.  It is a website for the entire family to blog and whatever else on.  We already had a lunar pages account and we decided it was time to use it for the family.

After Katy requested a blog, we had so many account with word press it just got crazy.  Trying to get between them all and keeping the sign in and passwords straight was getting a bit confusing.  I almost commented on several different things while in Katy’s account.  I also went to type up a blog and I was in MY blog but under Katy’s username.  When I hit the My Dashboard, it took me to Katy’s account (and I hadn’t realized it).  Typing a blog on her account wasn’t the plan!   Luckily I discovered the error when I saw the blog stats.

The final decision was made last night.  I have been trying to make Katy’s blog all cute and little girly looking.  The free wordpress doesn’t give many options in regards to this.  I found a site that allowed me to doll up Katy’s account for free.  YAY!  After spending about 3 hours designing her “new look”, we discovered the free accounts don’t allow you to have the cool, unique looks…at least to everything we tried and understood.  We would have to upgrade the account in order to have the cool new look. 

We had a couple options.  The first was to just keep her free account and find the best suited look.  The second was to take our lunar pages account that is already paid for another year and set up a family blog site.  The last was forget it all and hate the internet

Ben has been toying with moving his blog around, he even blogged about that recently.  It would be nice to have both Ben and I be able to access Katy’s blog easily so for Katy creating the free family site with a blog for her was a good decision as well.  Personally, I feared that all my hundreds of followers and readers would not follow, loose me and cry because of the move   In all truth on it, I was fearful in switching.  Not fear over loosing people reading  but more because I fear changing and having to figure out a whole new system and how it all works.

Ben promised to help walk me through the process and show me the basic ropes.  From there it will be my job and duty to really learn the new family site.  The site will still be open to anyone to view with comments being moderated.  All except for Katy’s blog area, that we will restricted.  We will have people sign in to see it.  I have to protect my little one for a couple more year!

 We have the domain name ready, I just don’t have things moved around.  When I am set up and all the blogs have been transferred, a cute blog designed and a new welcome blog written, I will give out the new blog location. 

Please follow us in the move!!!

At first when she requested a blog I was a bit nervous.  I love to blog and Ben does as well.  Blogging per se isn’t the issue.  I was worried that each time she would want to blog I would end up spending hours helping her decide on what to blog about (as if I don’t have a hard enough time with that for my blog as it is) and then end up typing it up for her.  I also worried about the whole “world reading a 6 year olds writing” stuff.

After Ben and I had discussed it some I asked Katy a question.  This is how it went:

“Katy, what do you want to blog about?” I querried.

“Oh, I don’t know.  Stuff, my life and school and just stuff.” came her too early to be tween yet still tween voice reply.

“Okay.  I will talk to your dad and we will see.”

After Ben and I talked about it again, we decided it would be a GOOD thing for her.  Ben set up an account for her that night.  Even though we may have to help with the ideas, we decided they can be simple.  I mean her life is overall fairly simple; although, she might not view it that way at times.  We also decided she had to be the one to type what she wanted to write.  We can give suggestions on WHAT to write about but we will not write it for her.  We are hoping this can be a learning opportunity for her.  Help with computer, typing, writing and reading skills.

Today she wrote her first blog.  I was so proud of how she honestly did it all on her own (well the writing that is)!!!  I guess it just goes to show that she really is old enough and she really does want to share her life.  Ben only had to help with adding the pictures.

She        REALLY        likes     to         type     with     a     lot      of        random       spaces          between           her      words.         if    you     sEe    caps    it     is    an      accident     and     they     are         randomly           placed.    

Don’t be expecting perfection.  We will work on the spacing issue, it will take some time.  I think that possibly a bigger print may help with her need for so much space between each word.  We are also working on the capital letter at the beginning of the sentence and for proper nouns.   This is something they are working on at school as well, so it will be good skill practice for her.   Her spelling is off.  Sight words are for reading only, not for writing…I have been informed   Words and correct spelling is also on the list of “to work on”.  The whole grammar thing – well my grammar sucks and hopefully Ben will be able to help her with that one cause y’all know mine sucks

I LOVE IT!!!!  Her blog is sweet.  It is the best.  I think I just found my new favorite blog to read!!!  (Oh and don’t worry, I will be teaching her the art of more than just a period…before long she will be an exclamation freak like her mom…oh wait, what was that about teaching proper english skills?!?!?)

Oh and to solve the whole “world” issue, we just made the blog private!   We sent an email out to several friends and family but then we got a notification that many didn’t receive the email.  That in turn lead to a massive “go through email contact list” frenzy.  Some addresses were old, some were contacts we don’t contact anymore, some emails were newer ones and weren’t even listed, you know all the fun things.  I sent and resent the message that Ben had originally sent a couple more times and HOPEFULLY I got everyone in the end.  If you didn’t get the email and you would like to read the best new blog in town, let me know and I will get you the link!

When someone discusses something with you over and over and over again, you interpret those actions as meaning you are included, a partner in the situation.  You devise that when a decision is ready to be made, you would be informed.  You think that if they actually wanted to include you in the process they would let you know what was happening.  That only happens when they actually really want to include you, not just pretend to.

The sheer facade of equality is often put up, yet I don’t see through it in the beginning.  I don’t see that the true discrimination and inequality remains.  I hate it.  I hate that it hurts these same feelings over and over.  I hate that we let down our guard to trust only to be blasted with more pain.

I should know that anytime such conversations arise, you don’t really care of our feelings or our thoughts in the process.  You want to make sure to have “talked” with us to make sure we “feel” included in the whole thing; yet in the end you just make the decisions with the other child.  Notifying us doesn’t matter because what we think truly doesn’t matter. 

Do you honestly think we are unscathed when the decision is fully made and we are only informed when we approach the topic with you?  The decision being made was not the issue.  We are fine with the decision.  The being informed part is the issue!  It just goes to show we really had no say, our thoughts and feelings truly did not matter!

Nice.  Great. 

Don’t you understand that we already have felt enough ostracism?  Don’t you understand that anytime it is between the two, our side is never seen, heard or even really considered? 

Facebook is NOT a way to inform someone that a decision was made.  It is ESPECIALLY NOT a way to inform a person that the decision is done, made and purchased when said person is supposed to be a partner, in on the deal.  Are you really a partner when you have a say in words but have no clue when action is taken, a decision is final?

If the issue is money and you are worried about our ability to pay and be true partners then discuss it with us.  Honestly I don’t think the others are true partners from the past events I have seen but we will move past that point due to not having proof in these areas.

You suck and I am totally sick of having to deal with this hurt time after time!

Next time spare us the pretense of actually caring.  Don’t bring up our hopes only to shred them with the truth of we aren’t good enough, our thoughts don’t really matter. 

You don’t really care.  I am tired of the mask.  We fall for the guise each time and each time we are hurt.  I can’t take it anymore.  

Please in the future, just leave us out in the beginning and let us sit and lick our wounds before you have the chance to drive the knife in deeper.  The pretense is getting old and the scar of mistrust and favoritism already burns and aches!  Your golden one’s opinion is the only one you care about, just stick with that in the future.   Just leave us out from the start, rather than parading that you included us only the slam the door in our face.

To not be included: Yes, we would be mad; yes, we would be hurt. 

History repeats itself.  The truth is we are hurt, upset and mad anyway.  Jilting us from the start would just be saving us the pain of anticipation; hopes of actually being included.

Just leave us alone.  If I can’t learn in a decade to not fall for your guile, I never will learn.  If you care an ounce, drop the act and just be true to yourself and feelings.  It would hurt us a lot less in the end.  Yes your conscience may hurt you for doing it this way.  I am sorry you may feel guilt.  I make no excuse for that though because you deserve that guilt.

We love you and always will but please in the future spare the charades and just leave us out from the get go.

Thank you,

Your family 

P.S. In so many ways I hope you don’t read this but in far more ways I hope you do.

Ben and I met in the 2nd grade.  I had just moved to South Jordan and he had been living in South Jordan for about a year.  We were in the same class, Mrs. Hamrick.  Neither of us have exceptionally amazing memories of her as a teacher but it is now a sentimental thing to know we knew each other at such a young age.  If I had known my future husband was in that room I would have probably FREAKED out and said something like “ooooh GROSS!”  It is a good thing that future telling wasn’t wasted on me!

We attended all of grade school and middle school together.  We managed to keep our distance but still know of the existence of each other.  In High School we attended the same school as well and this time we had a couple more classes together.  Ben was big into cross country and well I was just awkward and didn’t know where I fit in.  My sophomore year and the first of my junior year was my worse in High School.  It sucked. 

For Ben it was the opposite…those were his best years.  He now will claim the best thing of his senior year was us becoming good friends (he has to say that).   For Ben he does have valid reasons for struggling at the end of his junior year and all his senior year.  Ben was in a major car accident on his 17th birthday his junior year.  That is his story to give…back to the stupid madrigals (not bitter, no not at all).

At the end of my junior year, I was big into choir.  My identity had been formed in a big way around choir and my voice.   My choir director over and over begged me to try out for madrigals.  When I expressed my fear to my teacher, in not so many words he assured me that if I tried out for Madrigals I would be a Madrigal.  He was a liar on that point.  It did get me to sign up, to try out.  Oh the nostalgia!  I would be COOL and people would know that I had a good voice.  In my teenage view only those that make Madrigals have good voices…all other voices were just that voices, they didn’t matter.  If you don’t make Madrigals your voice has to totally suck or be just mediocre enough to make concert choir!  Oh the things that I imagined that were oh so not true!!!! 

After trying out for Madrigals scared to death, the day of doom came.  I remember the day the “people who made it” sheet came out.  I looked at the list with MANY other awe struck seniors…we had NOT made Madrigals!  How could that be?  A more in-depth look at the list REALLY pissed us all off…the people that had taken our spots were next year Juniors.  Kids that would have not only  there Junior year but their Senior year as well.  How could this be?  Well I will tell you (would I do anything different?!?!).  It is actually rather simple, the current Madrigals (outgoing seniors) that helped in the picking had siblings that tried out.  The siblings and sibling friends that had tried out for Madrigals were currently sophmore, would be Juniors.  Those older siblings made a choice; they chose their siblings and siblings friends.  This had a devastating blow to many of the seniors that lost their one and only chance to the Madrigals! 

This was something that I thought for SURE would ruin my senior year of high school.  I couldn’t be more wrong.  As a teenager I thought for SURE that not being in Madrigals would affect the rest of my life.  I was right about it affecting the rest of my life, it just wasn’t in a negative way I thought it would be!

My senior year I had 7 classes each day.  All year long 3 out of the 7 were classes I had were with Ben.  We also had lunch together, we always sat near each other.  For half of the year I also had a morning class with him, making it 4 classes and lunch.  My days were spent with Ben and other great friends that I made.  Some of these friends were in choir with me and some were not.  If I had made Madrigals my entire schedule would have been different.  The classes with Ben would have been diminished to no more than 1 or 2.

All year long I watched the Madrigals and hated them.  I was so jealous yet at the same time.  I hated that they were so full of themselves, their view that they were better than everyone else.  They had the BEST voices in the school, I had a crappy voice; all this was in my head of course.  Over and over when I was told my voice was good I would say, “No it can’t be, I didn’t make madrigals.”

My senior year I started to date one of Ben’s best friends, a non-choir guy.  Had I been in Madrigals this would have been a HUGE no-no.  Dating Z had me hanging out with Ben more.  Ben and I had a love-hate relationship for most of our senior year.  As some things went REALLY south between Ben and his kinda sorta girlfriend, poor Ben was made out to be the bad guy.  The problem of senior year!  I still hung out with Ben here and there.  He came to my birthday party.  I didn’t go to his though   I honestly don’t recall being invited to it!!  They are a whole week apart…I think he was just afraid my party was better than his so he didn’t invite me…he counters to that though

After graduation was when we really became friends.  It was about 1 week after my high school boyfriend Z and I broke up.  Suddenly Ben and I were best friends!  Seriously we went EVERYWHERE together.  I remember one night he picked me up in his dad’s brand new pick-up truck.  I still love when we get a chance to ride in that truck…reminds me of the night I had to snuggle in close to him because there were 4 of us in the cab made for 3. 

For college, I had decided to live at home and go to the community college.  Ben was going to Rexburg, Idaho to attend then Rick’s College (now BYU-Idaho).  Cell phones and free long distance did not exist; however, email was the new up and coming thing (it was 1998 people)!  We emailed daily.  I remember many days sitting in the library emailing Ben back and forth like an IM conversation.  I am pretty sure IM didn’t exist at that point, if it did Ben and I did not know of its existence.

In October 1998 I had a lot of conflicting feelings.  Ben was coming home each weekend and he was my best friend!  The problem was another friend of ours that was going to the community college with me was looking to be a love interest.  I was so confused.  I had feelings for Ben and I had feelings for the other guy.  When Ben said his little red truck was broke down and he wouldn’t be coming home on Halloween weekend, I instantly made a decision to go up and see him.

I don’t recall asking my parents’ permission to go or use their car (which I probably did cause well that was how it was).  I do recall the other guy deciding to come and his parents being less than thrilled over the decision.  The prospective guy, a girl friend J and I hopped in my parents 1995 Ford Taurus and started a 5 hour road trip to Rexburg, Idaho.  On the way up we stopped in Logan, Utah and picked up a friend H.  She wanted to go and see some people in Rexburg as well.

I don’t recall many events other than picking up H and filling the car with gas at this station.  I found it odd that gas was 99.9 cents a gallon and when I put 12 gallons in it came to $12 even…it should have been $11.98 or even $11.99.  I think they were using the rounding system!  Oh well!

I DO recall many feelings that I was going through my head and heart.  I remember the joy I felt as we got closer and closer to where Ben was.  I remember how I was glad that the other guy was there but I kind of had hoped for a weekend away, a weekend with Ben to talk and sort and really know my feelings.

After we picked Ben up from his apartment we went to this small park.  This park holds a lot of sentiment to not only me but to Ben as well.  Upon visiting Rexburg when we were engaged, we ate a picnic breakfast at that park, THE park. 

We were running around and playing.  It had an old metal tilt-a-whirl/merry-go-round.  We played on that like we were 5 again; the metal circle spun in circles until we were all sick to our stomachs.  We swung in the swings and raced down the slides.  After a while we went to explore the park more. 

Ben and I ended up alone together underneath LARGE, old trees.  The leaves crackled under our feet as we ran and chased each other.  It was like being 5 or 6 all over again; the only difference was our light came from the full moon of autumn rather than the blazing sun of summer.

After a couple minutes of running and chasing Ben captured me.  When his arms circled around me, we both lost our balance and ended up in the cool grass.  We laughed and giggled (ok I giggled) and Ben started to tickle me.  From there we were rolling around in the grass tickling and laughing. 

I don’t know what caused it (the moment) but everything suddenly went still.  I looked up and Ben’s face was right there.  His eyes were sparkling.  I don’t have the literary knowledge to illustrate our moment.  I looked in his eyes and he looked in mine.  The current time no longer existed.  I felt warmth, light and sparks but it was a cool October night lit by the moon.  I could see Ben, see his soul, and see him completely.   Years later when I asked him about that moment, Ben concurred he saw the same in me.  The moment was just not my moment, it was our moment.  Time stood still.  Everything around us disappeared.  The only thing that existed in that time was Ben and me. 

It was a romantic movie moment.  You know that moment in which everything stops and stands still right before the love interest couple shares their first kiss and they live happily ever after.  It followed the movie plot perfectly as natures force helped our heads and lips come closer.  I could feel Ben’s warm breath and then suddenly…

“ghmm, ghmmm…”  The other guy was standing about 4 feet away from us and clearing his throat loudly.  I have NO clue how long we had been on the grass having our moment.  I was suddenly cold.  The warmth felt milliseconds before was now gone.  We were part of the real world again.  I have no clue if it had been seconds or minutes of if the other guy had been standing there the whole time or had just walked upon our moment.  I am pretty sure he saw how close the kiss was. 

Ben stood up and helped me up.  We all walked back to the playground together.  We all tried to forget that moment and move on but I didn’t want to.  My life could have been different, completely different in that brief moment. 

Rick’s college had a midnight curfew for all people so we had to get Ben and the other guy back to Ben’s apartment and then go to the place we were staying.

The next morning when we picked Ben and the other guy up it was different.  Ben kept his distance.  I was confused and within a half an hour I had a migraine.  Ben drove the car as I sat in the back trying to figure what the heck was going on.  It took 3 years to get the answer…the other guy had told Ben he was interested and wanted me as a girl friend.  Ben being a good friend and as the great guy he is, backed off.  He convinced himself it was just a “moment in his head” and that it wasn’t mutual.  I convinced myself of the same and we never mentioned it again, well at least until we were dating seriously/engaged.

I dated the other guy but Ben was still my best friend.  The other guy became my boyfriend and I claimed he was my best friend, but he really wasn’t.  I recall MANY weekends of Ben coming home.  I recall how excited I was to see him.  We would always give each other big long hugs.  I remember more than one time sitting on Ben’s lap, laughing.  The other guy would be present and sometimes there was even open seating across the room from Ben but not near him. 

When the other guy and I fought, I went to Ben.  I recall many times sitting on the phone with Ben crying or upset over this or that.  He always listened.  There was even a time or two that he actually took me to the place I wanted to go that the other guy couldn’t or wouldn’t.  Ben got a girl friend in Idaho and more of his weekends home included his girlfriend M.  We still gave the hugs and I still would sit on his lap. 

Looking back I can totally see why she pretty much insisted on coming home with him when he came.  I can see why she felt threatened by me even though I laughed it off when Ben would tell me.   I don’t know if the other guy was jealous of Ben and me.  I do know that girlfriend M was jealous of our relationship. 

In the end, I think that even though we tried to move on past that moment, that point…we couldn’t.  I think our hearts welded together.

Looking back I think, “what if”?  What if our moment hadn’t been interrupted?  What if we had kissed?  Would our future have been ruined or would our story have just started earlier?  I guess the end is all that matters.  We ended up together.  I have Ben for eternity.

Not making Madrigals actually helped my life be where it is now.  If I had been a Madrigal I would not have been in the same classes with Ben, my schedule would have been different my senior year.  I would have been part of the “Mad Group” in High School and Ben wouldn’t have existed in the same way.  I still think Mr. F was a spineless guppy for what he did to so many seniors that year.  I hold no ill will though.  Okay, well not a whole lot of ill will because I do know that being a Madrigal would have ruined the way my life went, the memories I now have!  My senior year was great despite him.

Thank you Mr. F from Copper Hills High.  You spineless guppy of stupid judgment, my life wasn’t completely ruined by you, just my confidence in my voice.  I got over that when I made an audition-only choir in college where there were many more people trying out…it just took years.  I’m serious about the Thank you; it is a true thank you…I just haven’t changed my views of you (and probably never will)!!

Oh and just so everyone here knows…out of my graduating class about 10% married others from the same graduation class.  Another 5% married someone that attended the school within a year or 2 above or below them.  High School really mattered for us; who woulda thunk it?

We had so much fun.  I don’t even know where to start with all the fun things we were able to do.  I thought I would share it with photos but before I do that I wanted to share a few words…you know me, a woman of so MANY few words

Costa Maya wasn’t too awe inspiring.  Did some shopping but it was rather expensive.  We did get to have a monkey sit on our shoulder and it scratched Lyse.  She was so excited to be so close to the monkey.

Belize was amazing.  The Myan Ruins were so interesting.  The hour boat ride up the river was outstanding.  We saw some crocodiles, some howler monkeys, many birds and plants.  It was great.

Cozumel and swimming with the dolphins was breath taking and once-in-a-lifetime amazing.  My girls loved it and it was so neat to be so up close and personal with those beautiful animals.

Grand Cayman.  I WANT TO LIVE THERE!  I loved it.  It was so amazing.  Ben and I WILL go there together one day.  Feeding the wild sting rays was much better than feeding the “tame, barbed removed” sting rays in the Bahamas.  The wild sting rays were just as gentle but the fact that they were not forced to be in a small swimming area made it better.  I am not against zoos or animals in captivity; however there is a difference in knowing you are with an animal that is free to do as it pleases.  Following the sting rays we went out a bit to snorkel.  We also went to an area that had SEVERAL star fish.  If you want to see an amazing sea creature…a star fish that weighs 20 lbs and takes both your hands to hold it is pretty darn amazing.

Even the days at sea were fun.  We had water fights, spent hours in the pool and the entire trip only took 1 nap!  It was much needed on the last day of the cruise.  We had been going to bed between midnight and 2:00 am (we had to talk to Ben each night and he was on the night shift) and then we were getting up at 7:00 at the latest.  It was fun filled, running adventure after adventure.  The ONLY thing missing (which happened to be the biggest thing) was Ben.  We truly missed him tons and tons!!!

I am now tan and sitting in OKC wishing to be back in Grand Cayman, Cozumel or Belize.  I also discovered something about myself on this cruise. I LOVE the ocean, I LOVE the beach.  Ben and I decided we could handle living near it all.  Everytime I am in Florida I think, “I could live here”.  Once again, I felt that in the few days I was in Florida before and after the cruise.  As I sat on the beach talking to Ben on the phone we devised our plan in how and when we would move to said beach…I just am sad that much of it is wishful thinking.  Utah is where we will be for several years with Ben and his job. 

One more thing I discovered was that Ben and I are a good team, one that I want to be around for eternity.  I have always loved him and have always wanted him in my life.  I never like being without Ben.  I could be with him 24/7 and be completely content.  The greatest thing about that is he feels the same way!!!   I honestly have the best husband and man in the entire world.  Oh and single parent life is NOT for me (Ben you better never die on me).  While I could be a single parent, I NEVER, EVER want to have to be one.  Ben is such a great partner and father.  He is so good with our children.  He does a lot and is very interactive with our children.  I don’t think I thank him enough for this.  I don’t know if I could.  Ben is a solid rock in our family, one I am grateful for!   I LOVE YOU BEN!!

Note: this was typed up on March 5 but I set it to publis while on the cruise…just to keep you all entertained

I love and adore my nieces and nephews.  I love knowing my nieces and nephews and them knowing and hopefully loving me.  I adore them.  I love them all almost as much as I love my own.  I love to watch them grow and learn.  The love started when my sister had her first baby, B.  I had such a huge love for her, almost instantly.  When I had Katy I wondered if I would love my nieces and nephews as much now that I had a child of my own.  I did and DO!  9 months after Katy was born, I had a niece and nephew born; I loved and adored them instantly.   Two months later 2 more were born.  While I didn’t meet them a long time, I loved them too!

Last night I was lying in and my bed and I realized something.  While I miss my family and Ben’s family a lot, I don’t miss the adults as much.  Don’t get me wrong, I miss them.  I miss them LOTS.  I just miss the little ones the most!  The adults don’t grow and change overnight, the kids do.  I am missing out on some of their growing.

I am not always the greatest aunt.  I know that I am closer to my nieces and nephews on my side of the family.  I would love to be closer to the nieces and nephews on Ben’s side though!  I know that if my kids get in a fight with someone in my family I don’t automatically step in and defend.  I let them “fight it out” a bit.  I know they all love each other and are really close.  If there is a fight between cousins on Ben’s side of the family, I do step in and automatically defend my own.  Honestly, I am the “mother tiger” a lot more at my in-laws.  I don’t always like it.  I am sure that my nephews and niece that live out of the state think I am mean because often I defend my children and their rights when they are around.  I don’t think they know that I do love them. 

My nephew, D, I started babysitting when he was about 7 days old.  I love that kid to death.  Being completely honest about people I am missing the most back in Utah, D would be up there, pretty close to the top or maybe even on the top.  He rivals my mom and dad.  He was an integrated part of life in Utah.  I love that boy to death.  So kind, so sweet.  He loves and protects Lyse and Katy.  In many, many ways the relationship that Katy and Lyse have with D is more of siblings than cousins.   Don’t get me wrong, I miss EVERYONE lots (please no offense to any family)…I just hold a special place for D and I really miss him!

This last summer D was with me while I was letting Katy and Lyse play with some other cousins.  The one cousin wasn’t being nice (hello it is part of being a kid) to Lyse.  D saw that and immediately stood up for my Lyse.  He was her protector.  Later one of Lyse’s and Katy’s cousins was being teased by another cousin, which happened to be his older brother.  D once again stepped in took the toy back and said, “You are not being very nice.”  I have thought about this several times since it happened.  D has such a love for others and wants to protect them.  He looks out for the ones younger than himself.  Now don’t get me wrong, he is NOT perfect and I have seen many a tantrum out of that little boy! :)  He is a good boy and awesome and I miss him TONS and TONS and TONS.

I hope all my nieces and nephews know that I love and miss them!!!  (To their parents, give them a hug and kiss for me and know that I think of them often!)

The first flight went well and in all actuality felt the longest.  It was the flight in which I had Elyse awake.  She needed a nap!  At the end of the first flight Katy was crying cause her ears hurt.  She wouldn’t do any of the things I told her to help – AGHH!  I did feel bad for her though. 

After we got off the flight (remember Lyse needs a nap) we headed to the Terminal E in IAH.  It was forever and a day away.  I had 2 carryon bags (neither was light) and 2 girls.  While riding down the escalator in Terminal E, Elyse decided to sit on the Escalator.  I told her to stand, she said no.  It went like this until we got to the bottom and she was stuck sitting and couldn’t get up.  I had 2 heavy bags and KNEW it would be bad if she was sitting when the flat stairs went through the whole that re-circulated them back up.  I was so grateful I had fought the fight that she HAD to wear the monkey tail (a back pack that is a child leash).  I grabbed the monkey and lifted her up…barely in time.

“Thanks for saving my life mom.”  Lyse said with wide eyes and a bit of terror in her voice.

“Lyse, next time listen to me.  I am just glad you still have all your fingers!  Let’s get to our gate.”

The gate was a 10 minute walk turned into 30.  The entire time I was pleading, begging and doing EVERYTHING to refrain from losing my temper.  Lyse was in utter MELT DOWN!  After boarding for the first 25 minute Lyse cried and whined, most of that time we were still sitting on the runway waiting to take off.  I am sure EVERYONE was ready to KILL us!  Luckily, she fell asleep during takeoff and we didn’t hear a peep out of her for almost an hour and a half. *HEAR A HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF* 

Katy and I colored a couple pictures and then played some fun games on the computer before Lyse woke up.  I didn’t even know I had these fun games…thanks Katy for showing me! Oh, Katy asked me today if she could “blog”.  She told me that she wanted a blog to share stuff with family and friends, like “dad and you do”.  I told her we will see.  I forgot to talk to Ben about it tonight…so dear if you read this, what do you think about that?  Obviously her blog would be for invited friends and family only   I actually like the idea.

The FLL airport went great.  Lyse was well rested and while Katy was getting tired, she still wasn’t “overly” tired.  At the luggage area, I saw an elderly man REALLY struggling to get his entire luggage.  I noticed he looked really weak and I wonder if he had a handicap of some sort cause his upper body strength was NON existent.  It could have just been his age but he didn’t seem that old…maybe my dad’s or father-in-laws age; his mannerisms made him appear older than that though.  Taking a bag off the belt almost knocked him over. 

After watching him struggle with a couple bags, I stepped in to help.  I think it is sad that no one asked if he needed help before that…particularly his WIFE who was sitting on a bench doing her make-up.  She looked up and watched him struggle only to turn back to her mirror.  I helped him get his luggage to his cart (a whole 5 feet from my cart and 8 feet from the belt).  He struggled loading his luggage onto his cart but my luggage was coming down the belt and I needed to get it.  I felt guilty for leaving him and his “lovely” wife (who was still perfecting her plastic face).  After I had loaded all our bags and was waiting for the car seat to come down, I saw someone approaching from my peripheral vision.  I turned to see the man.  He gave a huge smile and a very sincere pat on the shoulder to me and said, “Thank you!”  The look on his face really showed appreciation.  I was grateful that although I had PLENTY on my own plate, I had stopped and helped him.  He had more on his plate than he could handle and needed help even more than I did.

We got our car seat and made it to our car.  By the way the new Nissan Altimas are like scarily high tech and I needed help getting it started…seriously!   We found the hotel without a problem; I am amazing, what can I say?!?  After an hour working on the computer getting it to sign onto the internet, the girls and I had an hour long video chat with Ben.  We are all now snuggling in for bed.  The girls are hoping, praying and BEGGING us to stay awake until all the family arrives.   I am missing Ben.

Today I am grateful for 3 things:  Ben and all he does for me and the girls; that I was able to maintain my control and did not lose my temper at all; that I was able to help the elderly gentlemen…it felt really good!

I am completely exhausted and trying to convince the girls that bed is a better option.  We will see