Tauns’ Blog

Dear Family,

When someone discusses something with you over and over and over again, you interpret those actions as meaning you are included, a partner in the situation.  You devise that when a decision is ready to be made, you would be informed.  You think that if they actually wanted to include you in the process they would let you know what was happening.  That only happens when they actually really want to include you, not just pretend to.

The sheer facade of equality is often put up, yet I don’t see through it in the beginning.  I don’t see that the true discrimination and inequality remains.  I hate it.  I hate that it hurts these same feelings over and over.  I hate that we let down our guard to trust only to be blasted with more pain.

I should know that anytime such conversations arise, you don’t really care of our feelings or our thoughts in the process.  You want to make sure to have “talked” with us to make sure we “feel” included in the whole thing; yet in the end you just make the decisions with the other child.  Notifying us doesn’t matter because what we think truly doesn’t matter. 

Do you honestly think we are unscathed when the decision is fully made and we are only informed when we approach the topic with you?  The decision being made was not the issue.  We are fine with the decision.  The being informed part is the issue!  It just goes to show we really had no say, our thoughts and feelings truly did not matter!

Nice.  Great. 

Don’t you understand that we already have felt enough ostracism?  Don’t you understand that anytime it is between the two, our side is never seen, heard or even really considered? 

Facebook is NOT a way to inform someone that a decision was made.  It is ESPECIALLY NOT a way to inform a person that the decision is done, made and purchased when said person is supposed to be a partner, in on the deal.  Are you really a partner when you have a say in words but have no clue when action is taken, a decision is final?

If the issue is money and you are worried about our ability to pay and be true partners then discuss it with us.  Honestly I don’t think the others are true partners from the past events I have seen but we will move past that point due to not having proof in these areas.

You suck and I am totally sick of having to deal with this hurt time after time!

Next time spare us the pretense of actually caring.  Don’t bring up our hopes only to shred them with the truth of we aren’t good enough, our thoughts don’t really matter. 

You don’t really care.  I am tired of the mask.  We fall for the guise each time and each time we are hurt.  I can’t take it anymore.  

Please in the future, just leave us out in the beginning and let us sit and lick our wounds before you have the chance to drive the knife in deeper.  The pretense is getting old and the scar of mistrust and favoritism already burns and aches!  Your golden one’s opinion is the only one you care about, just stick with that in the future.   Just leave us out from the start, rather than parading that you included us only the slam the door in our face.

To not be included: Yes, we would be mad; yes, we would be hurt. 

History repeats itself.  The truth is we are hurt, upset and mad anyway.  Jilting us from the start would just be saving us the pain of anticipation; hopes of actually being included.

Just leave us alone.  If I can’t learn in a decade to not fall for your guile, I never will learn.  If you care an ounce, drop the act and just be true to yourself and feelings.  It would hurt us a lot less in the end.  Yes your conscience may hurt you for doing it this way.  I am sorry you may feel guilt.  I make no excuse for that though because you deserve that guilt.

We love you and always will but please in the future spare the charades and just leave us out from the get go.

Thank you,

Your family 

P.S. In so many ways I hope you don’t read this but in far more ways I hope you do.