Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: spousal competition, winning over you spouse
So this is a neiner neiner neiner post.
My dear husband started a blog. After a while of reading his blog and others I decided I just might like to write my own. That is where the journey (some might call it competition) began. At first I just blogged for fun and my husband would ask, “How many views did you get today?” My response was always low numbers, 2 maybe 3 if I was lucky.
He would then respond, “Don’t feel bad. It took me a long time to get to 20-30 viewers a day.” He had been blogging for a full month before me so it was only fair he had more readers than I. As time went by, each day as he would get his count he would ask, “How many did you get today?” After a while it depressed me. My readers consisted mainly of those that pitied me and knew I was watching the numbers. Then came the fateful day in July when I asked him, “How many readers did you get today?” I KNEW I had more that day. I knew that because I wrote about our 4th of July festivities and the name “Miley Cyrus” was put in the post. That automatically gives you a million hits, just ask Ben. Half his hits each day are Google hits looking for “Miley Cyrus Porn”. The reason for that is the following story.
After I finished my blog we went and celebrated the 4th of July, part of which did involve going to the Miley Cyrus concert. The next day when I knew for the first time I had won the blog reader war (I had 60 viewers that day) I brought the subject up to Ben. He of course was jealous and claimed my blog was a “cheater blog”. One in which people read because I put 4th of July history and Miley Cyrus in the search. I argued that I didn’t put that in just for viewers; honestly I didn’t think it would affect the views and it was the truth (I was wrong). To get even, Ben wrote a blog. He made sure to mention the name “Miley Cyrus” and he also mentioned the word “Porn” in the same blog, rightfully KNOWING it would cause his site to basically crash. Unfortunately, it was true. What he didn’t know is that his blog henceforth would be the top Google search for Miley Cyrus Porn. Go ahead, search it. You will find his blog 
Anyway, back to the story on hand. The two of us have had this bit of competition going for quite some time. Most the time he wins. Okay, pretty much all the time he wins, that was until recently. Recently we moved to OKC. He has been extremely busy and his blog writing has been few and far between. On the other hand, my poor constant readers (all 5 of them) started to find daily blogs from me. As I wrote more, I found more and more people visiting my site.
This month for the first time I am the winner of “most visitors in a month”…and a won by a lot! Dear – I am not rubbing this in…I am putting this out there as an advertisement to send more people to your blog…I swear, I pinky swear, I double pinky swear with no fingers crossed. I am not writing this to announce to the world that I WON!!!…not that would be rude. I am simply trying to tell those that are reading my blog that they need to pity you and go to your site to
PS – I love you!!!
Filed under: Uncategorized
On Monday there was an ice storm. Ben was sent home from work early and Katy was home shortly thereafter. I looked like it was just raining but there was a thin layer of black ice covering EVERYTHING. My thoughts were “if everyone is getting home early and everything is shutting down this must be one huge storm”. I looked at the news station online and it told what schools were open and closed the next day. At 4:00 pm on Monday, I knew that Katy would have no school on Tuesday.
Early Tuesday morning, Ben called into his work and found out his class/work was cancelled due to the weather. Now for a Federal Building to close I was starting to think that this was a really, really bad storm hitting. Tuesday as we crawled out of bed after being able to sleep in on a weekday we looked outside. There was a thin layer of ice covering everything. At its thickest it was about 1/4 inch. I was expecting like 1 or 2 inches after hearing stories from the locals of how the cars are just covered. I was a bit disappointed that there wasn’t more.
The progression of the day brought some snow. Snow is YUCKY in Oklahoma. It is like crystallized ice. No way would I build a snowman out of that stuff! It wasn’t soft and fluffy at all! Wednesday night, after being holed up in the house all day, I was crawling to get out of the house for a few minutes. The girls were fighting and at each other’s throat (something that doesn’t happen often). We played with different toys but we don’t have a ton of things to consume our time here. Normally that is nice. On days we are all holed up in the house (not just Lyse and I) it becomes a lot more work!
As we loaded in the car, it took a bit for the layer of ice to melt off the car. We knew Ben was going to have to work the next day so our excuse for going out was an ice scrapper for the car and a gallon of milk. When we got out on the roads I was flabbergasted. The roads had MAYBE 1/2 inch of slush. Yes there was ice underneath but it was no different than in Utah after a warm day and the snow all melting and then a freeze hitting and it creates black ice and add a little snow storm on top…that was the roads. Not the best but definitely not something that closes down ALL the stores. Most of the local places were closed due to weather. It was CRAZY! Even large chain stores were closed. In Utah if the roads were covered like that you would be like, “okay, whatever”, here it closes down everything. Now I understand the whole, “we have snowplows” issue. What I don’t understand is even though we have snowplows MANY of the places aren’t plowed, the snow just melts away before those streets are taken care of. That is especially the case when it is this much snow.
That night as I was checking out the local news site, I noticed they had 590 school closings. I was thinking that was just from the previous day but decided to check and make sure. Sure enough, school for Katy was cancelled again for Wednesday. Not only was it closed but they decided at 2:00 pm that they weren’t going to hold school the next day. I laughed a little (especially after having been on the roads). I had MAYBE 4 snow days in my entire public school life in Utah. Even when over a foot fell in the night, school was held the next morning. They would never announce the night before that school would be cancelled. You would have to wake up and then find out if you had to go or not.
Seeing that Katy’s school was closed (along with many churches, businesses and daycares listed on the website), Ben and I started to wonder if his work would be cancelled too! At 5:00 am the next morning he called in. Unfortunately it wasn’t cancelled for the full day; however, it was postponed for 3 hours so that the people would be able to drive in the sunlight due to the “horrible conditions”. They also warned over and over in the recorded announcement to please drive carefully and wear proper foot attire for the weather outdoors. Ben and I got a chuckle and promptly went back to sleep.
Wednesday the sun was shining beautifully. I thought about going out for a bit with the girls until I looked to see how warm it was outside. It was only 35 degrees so I chose to stick around in the house. No walking around OKC for us! It was cool though. The girls and I had a fun day of play after Ben left for work. Ben’s work day was only 5 1/2 hours so when he got home it felt like he hadn’t been gone long. We had a fun family filled evening and we got the girls to bed early due to Katy having to get up for school the next morning.
As we climbed in bed around 10:30 I dreaded getting up just a little. After all, I had been spoiled for the last 2 days! This morning I got up and got Katy ready to run out the door. The girls found their presents from their Grandma Debbie and were really excited and the alarm went off for Katy to run out to the bus. 2 minutes after she left for the bus she was running back into the house.
“School is cancelled today mom.” she yelled to me and plopped down on the couch to watch cartoons with Lyse and open the present from Grandma.
I walked out of my bathroom a big perplexed and asked, “It is closed again today? Are you sure???”
“Yep. That is what the girl at the stop told me.”
Now I was starting to wonder if they were just playing a joke on Katy. I had already started to get dressed for the day but before I finished I decided I better check out the website to verify. Sure enough, www.koco.com stated that Katy’s school district was in fact closed for the day. I quickly pulled up the school district website just to verify. Same info. School truly was closed!!
So Katy has now had 3 snow days. I hope and pray that she gets one tomorrow for while my mom is here too. That would be too perfect though. My bet is they have school tomorrow. If not, then Katy in her 2 years of public school will rival all 13 of mine in receiving “snow days”.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: post partum depression, stigma on anti-depressants
I have 2 wonderful daughters that I love more than anything else in this world. The first one blessed our lives a bit earlier than we would have planned but was such a huge blessing that there wasn’t a hestitant moment about loving her. The second took longer than we had wanted or planned and was just as welcomed and loved.
The day we brought our second little one, Lyse, home was a great day. I was soooooooo ready to get out of that hospital. It was all I could do to not just leave without all the stupid discharge stuff (took them until 1:30 pm to discharge us after us saying we were ready at 8:00 am). We got home and all of us got a nice little nap in. Following the nap, my brother, his wife and daughter came for a visit. It was fun watching my neice hold and love our new little one. After they left, I looked at my family I kinda wished I was leaving with my brother. A fear suddenly envoked my body.
The next morning after a “newborn night” of sleep, I was a bit more than “tired”. Why on earth is there a phrase of “sleeping like a newborn baby”? NEWBORNS DO NOT SLEEP!!!!! Anyway, so I was tired and getting up and getting breakfast for Katy seemed extremely overwhelming. Luckily Ben was around to help…and he did! He is so great about helping and always has been. When we have newborns, I have to pry them out of his arms and I have only changed a handful of newborn diapers, even though I have 2 daughters!
By mid-afternoon I KNEW something wasn’t right. I was not loving and liking my daughters, I didn’t want to get out of bed and honestly I wanted to sink into the darkness. Recongnizing all these signs as that of “Post Partum Depression”, I called the doctor. It was a Sunday afternoon and obviously I had to get the doctor on call, not my exact doctor.
I told the doctor on call that I was pretty sure I had post partum. She was so brutal. It was so hard on me to call and say that and her response was, “well the only thing I can do to help you then is call in an anti-depressant. Do you really want that? I think you just have the baby blues and they will go away in a few days”. I felt so stupid for calling. I remember sitting on the stairs crying. I doubt that phone record was ever put in my record because I never received a call from my doctor to follow-up on if it was post-partum or just the baby blues.
Three weeks later when I cared nothing for life and honestly hated my children, I remember calling my husband and in tears not knowing what to do. I was so, so, so, so sad. I felt all alone. When he left for work I wanted to DIE. I remember him giving me the courage to get up and call the doctors office. I asked him about the previous call and “the baby blues” answer. He told me to just call.
A couple hours later and an amazing nurse later I had a prescription called in. The nurse sat and talked to me for the 2 hours. She asked if I needed someone there, she would come if so. I remember wanting her to but feeling ashamed. Instead we talked on the phone. She gave me her number for the weekend and told me to call anytime I needed. My life was truly different once the medicine started to work. I was able to enjoy my child for the first time.
My poor Katy was the one that suffered the most I fear. She was the one that lost the mom she knew for a month because of that stupid doctor and her making such a big deal about the stigma associated with anti-depressants!!!! If she ever shows up because my doctor can’t make the delivery I will promptly tell my husband to play catcher and have her escorted out of the room. She almost ruined my life by making me feel stupid for asking for help and there is no way in HECK I would ever trust her to deliver one of my babies!
FYI – this is NOT an announcement…I am NOT preggers…unfortunately! What actually made me think about this was a good friend of mine that had a baby in December is going through post-partum. While talking with her all these memories swelled up and I felt the strong desire to write and share my experience. It was hard…dang hard. I am soooo grateful for modern medicine that helped me for several months while my body recovered from the sudden loss of different hormones.
While we have lived in Oklahoma we have been able to experience many different but equally great experiences. I have tried to write about many of them to share with family and friends, as well as document it for our family. Some experiences have become so daily routine that I have not noted or shared that information. Today I decided to share some of those little differences from Utah.
RELIGION
YOU CAN BE RELIGIOUS AND IT IS OKAY!!! In Utah it is really different in that regard. I don’t think that there is a way to describe this unless you have lived out of the state. It is different and I like it. Most the people I associate with on a daily basis are not Mormon but are religious. Our religious differences don’t matter. In Utah, I often felt like it is “you are Mormon or you aren’t…if you aren’t my religion, let us not discuss religion for fear of offending”. I always hated that but didn’t know how to make that different (honestly me alone, I don’t think I can).
Another part of this is family. In Utah many say, “Oh only the Mormons have the large families”. This last year at Swiss Days in Midway, Utah, I was standing in the bathroom line next to some other women. All were obviously LDS. The other ladies were talking about how the one had taken her family recently to California. She was saying how everyone would just stare at her and her family and how large it was. She talked about how the people there would have been appalled had they know that she had left 3 kids at home. The one stated, “Yeah, large families are not the norm and are definitely not found out of the state of Utah because of the Mormons.”
Here I KNOW that most people I associate with are not LDS (Mormon) yet most of these people have larger families. Our larger SUV is NOT the only one on the roads; it isn’t even the only larger SUV in the apartment parking lot, there are several! Minivans and SUV’s can be found all over the place…maybe even more common place than in Utah. It is the norm to go to a store and see a mom with 3 or 4 children. Now when I had heard those moms talking at Swiss Days I started to think they actually knew something. After all, they did have the larger family; I had only been to Disneyland with my 2 girls because I have only been blessed with 2 children so far. I had somewhat believed these strangers about out of state families. They were wrong!
CULTURE
Today Katy told me, “Did you know that Maysara doesn’t believe in Santa?” We then had a long discussion over Maysara and her religion. Katy’s friend she plays with every day is Muslim. She is the sweetest thing. Her name is Maysara and she is from Iraq. She has lived here for 1 year. She learned English after moving here and I NEVER would have guessed she is VERY fluent. Her father worked with the troops in Iraq. After awhile it was no longer safe for him to stay in Iraq; hence the family was given Visas and the ability to move to America. She has a younger brother that is Elyse’s age and a new little baby brother. All the children that can love to run and play.
Yesterday I visited with Maysara’s mom, Esme. It was such a GREAT experience. We talked about the cultural differences and she was very kind to explain everything to me. Each time she leaves the house she must wear a scarf over her head but she doesn’t wear the fully covering garb. In home she was wearing a very typical stay-at-home mom attire of jeans and a t-shirt. We talked a lot about clothing and such. In a lot of ways the standards are very similar to that of my own. The men and women are both to wear modest, covering clothes. When in public she does wear a scarf over her head and a shawl if she is in a short sleeve shirt. While I can wear a short sleeve shirt in public, I would not wear a sleeveless shirt. I completely understand and respect the clothing aspect of the religion. Maysara never wears the scarves and shawls because she hasn’t reached puberty age yet. All the information that was given was very interesting to learn.
Esme was telling me all about her husband. She told me all about her husband helping our troops in Iraq. My heart went out to a family that had to leave behind many family and friends. Her husband’s family is currently living in Europe. They are not from Europe but were moved to Germany as refugees to keep them safe. Her family is still in Iraq and she worries for them. Her husband was working here and just lost his job. He is now searching for a new job. In broken English she tried rather successful explained how difficult it was in this economy and their situation to try and find a job. The most difficult part for him is to find a job due to the fact that he is Iraqi here on a Visa. Her husband was an Engineer in Iraq and they made good money. Here they won’t accept his degree. Their family has sacrificed A LOT in order to help our troops in Iraq. I am so grateful to them and their sacrifices!!! Her husband and the family gave up so much to help our troops and now he can’t find a job because when applying he isn’t a US citizen, he is Iraqi and most don’t want to give a job to an Iraqi. SO SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!
When Maysara came over for the first time I didn’t talk to her much…Katy and Lyse kept her busy playing. The second time she came over, I talked with her a bit. When I asked if she had lived here long she was very hesitant and said “no one year”.
“Oh where did you live before?” I could actually see the fear in her eyes.
“Ummm, Iraq?”
“Iraq? Really, that is awesome? When did you come over from Iraq?” I was excited to learn more about her and everything. As I asked her about Iraq and everything I could see her breathe relief. From her first reaction I HONESTLY do not think they have been met with a happy response when “Iraq” was mentioned. The same reaction was given by Esme, her mom, at first when she mentioned they were Muslim. It is VERY, VERY unfortunate that there is such a HUGE stigma for “Iraqi Muslims” in the US. These people are honestly the kindest, sweetest people. The mom loves her children and is a great mom. Maysara is very sweet and polite. Katy and Lyse LOVE playing with her. Their family sacrificed their way of life to help our troops and then they are treated with bias when here. What a tragedy that they have to fear sharing information about their family due to bigotry and bias.
Now on to another difference but not nearly as serious or life changing…
Apartment Living
Our bedrooms are really basic. We have an air mattress and 2 Rubbermaid bins turned over acting as night stands in our room. We also have 2 dirty laundry bins that are set along the one wall in our room. My nightstand holds my scriptures. Ben’s nightstand holds his scriptures, the alarm clock, his current choice for book and an awesome lamp (it is a cool flashlight that was given to us by Ben’s grandparents). That is our bedroom.
The girl’s room is a bit more exciting with the rose petal cottage. They also have a queen air mattress, a 3 door bin for clothes and a couple bins full of toys. No side tables in their room
Our living room has a futon couch, 2 awesome end tables (you guessed it, bins), a cheap lamp, TV and stand and last but not least a computer desk. All furniture is black except for our 2 blue end tables It’s a very bachelor-esque look!
Our dining room has 4 really cool leather chairs (no sarcasm…they really are awesome chairs) and a folding card table for our kitchen table.
Our kitchen is from the 70’s painted over with appliance paint. I haven’t quite figured out why they painted the cabinets and countertops with white appliance paint yet failed to paint the appliances (they are all still puke yellow). The kitchen works and that is about it! While it is nothing compared to my kitchen at home…it does have a very homey feel to it. The kitchen is galley style and actually has less cupboard space than my kitchen at home (hard to believe I know); however, because there is a separate dining area, the kitchen feels a bit bigger (even though the dining room and kitchen are same sq. footage of our kitchen at home).
There you have it…our house here is significantly less furnished. It is also easier to clean and keep clean. For every con there is an equal and/or greater pro! The con to not having a tax write off with the rent here comes with the great pro of…if it is broke, Ben doesn’t have to fix it We have had a drain not work and a kitchen light stop working. Ben didn’t have to bother with either; the complex handy-man took care of it for us. Kind of nice not having to worry about the time and $$$ to fix those things!
The only con to this place that DOESN’T have any semblance of a pro: we don’t have a washer and dryer in our unit. There is a laundry site across the courtyard from us but there isn’t one in the unit. I miss that 
It is expensive too. We have 4 loads to wash and 5 to dry (the towels always have to be dried 2 times). It costs us $9 just to use the machines each week.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: hope for the future, new president of the united states
This is how I felt as the Inauguration of the United States 44th President, Barrack Obama, moved forward today:
Today I am extremely touched as I sit watching a new President of the United States be sworn in. During the inaugural prayer the spirit touched me. What a momentous occasion, one that DOES call for rapture and joyful expressions. History was made today. Hopefully our country can finally get over the past and move forward together!
As I listen to the song composed for this occasion and as I hear, “All creatures of our God and King”, I prayed for our 44th president, Barack Obama.
This truly is an important day, a historic day. I pray with all my heart that President Obama can stand true to the forefathers as he promised in the inaugural address and while being sworn in, to uphold and support our Constitution.
I am grateful for technology; I was able to watch this great, historic day. It really does mean a lot to me and that I can watch it!
The most I can do is hope, pray and have faith that what was promised this day when taking the oath of office will be followed: that both Vice President Biden and President Barack Obama will work vigilantly to bring forth the promises they made to the people of our nation.
I hope that the inaugural address is followed and the men and women in office will be held accountable for the budget and getting programs back into a working order.
“This is a new era of responsibility…For the world has changed, and we must change with it…Our challenges may be new but the values upon which our success depends on honesty…loyalty, patriotism, these things are old. These things are true!” President Barack Obama
I am impressed by how President Obama showed such love and appreciation for his wife and children. I love the respect that he shows to our now past President, George W. Bush. That respect and love does show a measure of a man. I hope and pray that measure is true (I believe it is).
Today I have hope that the future of our nation can move forward and that we can become a stronger, kinder, nation under God!
P.S. I LOVED the benediction!
Filed under: Uncategorized
Church today was a bit different than I have EVER experienced! Church services were held in the PUBLIC school next door to our church building!! Yep, you read correctly…the public school is allowing us to hold church in their building. This is how it went.
Our chapel is the cafeteria. It definitely is different than the norm with is industrial tile, brilliant colors in banners around the room, colorful painted hand-prints all over the tile on the bottom half of the wall. Ben did have a very important observation though. The value system that the school is teaching and has posters of all over the cafeteria room (such as “Be a good citizen”, “Serve Others”, “Be Honest”) are the same principals that are taught in church! The chairs were an array of bright orange and yellow. The room was full and trying to keep the children reverent in a situation like that was quite a task!!! The great thing about it…church services CAN be held anywhere and you CAN feel the Spirit and learn even when the services aren’t held in a nice chapel with padded benches, the organ and acoustics, microphone that helps you hear the speaker…all the wonderful comforts of our beautiful chapels. One great things about the bright, plastic chairs that we get to sit on…Ben stays fully awake during Sacrament meeting (he can’t fall asleep or he would fall off the chair).
Sacrament Meeting went great and all was well up until Primary. Primary was held in the same room as Sacrament meeting (better to keep young, fast hands out of teachers rooms or the library with FUN decorations and books) Let me just say…OH BOY! Lyse immediately burst into tears; she was not happy about the new arrangement for primary. Katy was also shooting me weird looks from across the room. I finally calmed Lyse enough to leave for my own meetings. When classes seperated for each class in Primary, they each just took a table and put chairs around it and taught the lesson then went back and sang all together in the end.
My meetings were held in the library. A school library is actually a very familiar, comfortable place for me, mainly due to my mom having been a public school elementary librarian for the last 21 years! The room was hot at first. Once the temperature was regulated, the meetings went without any hitches. Honestly, all the adults are just happy to have a place to meet while our building is under construction.
When church was over and after arriving at home, we sat talking with the girls. We were talking about the crying in Primary and how we need to avoid that in the future. After a few minutes, Katy (who had been quiet for some time now) asked, “What if the person next to me is pinching me? Can I cry then?” Interesting questions…one that DEFINITELY required more information.
“Katy, why would you ask that?”
“Because the girl next to me today kept pinching me” I had to muffle a bit of a laugh…not because I thought her being pinched was funny more the irony. The child that had people that were very sweet and kind BEGGING her to sit next to them was the one crying while the one that had a little girl next to her pinching her was the one smiling and excited to be in Primary.
I asked Katy if she had asked the girls to stop and I received the most “uh-duh mom” look and the reply of, “Yes but she wouldn’t stop!” I asked if asking the girl to stop and her NOT stopping if Katy had told the teacher.
“I told my teachers but they didn’t believe me. They told me that I had to sit next to her and she was nice so we shouldn’t make up stories. I am not a liar mom, I’m not. The other girl told me she would stop but when I sat next to her again, she pinched me again. She was lying and I wasn’t and I was really sad” This reply made me sad (and a bit mad)! We are new to the ward and the ward members know each other rather well (including their children) but even knowing this is still makes me so sad! Katy was telling the truth and just trying her best to be good while being PINCHED by the girl next to her and when she spoke up she was accused of being a liar. I do believe the teachers realized the error of their ways later because Katy did say, “Later they saw her being mean and made her sit on the other side of them, away from me”.
After relaying her ordeal, Katy’s face beamed with a smile and then told about all the GREAT things that happened in Primary and how it was “so cool” that Primary was in a lunch room that looked just like her lunch room.
Today was a good day…different but good. NEVER in my life would I have even imagined going to church in a public school in Utah. It just wouldn’t happen. I really realized how blessed we are in Utah to so many blessings! I am grateful to be here right now though! I have grown to really, truly LOVE Oklahoma. This place really is growing on me!!!
Filed under: Uncategorized
This week our Katybug was the first grader chosen as the Coronado Cougar with Character! She was SOOO excited to get this special award. She took special effort to pick out her favorite dress and have her hair looking beautiful. She honestly looked like a princess this morning. I was so proud of my beautiful first grader! All week next week she will be the “Classy Clown” in her class and each day will have a special time set aside to tell about all the wonderful things that Katy is!
The assembly for the Cougar award was at 8:10 a.m. Lyse was having a difficult morning and thus so was I! This is how the morning went.
Me: “Katy get up, we need to get you ready for your special day”
Lyse: “Me too Mom, me too!”
Me: “Yes, you too Lyse. I will get you ready to go to Katy’s school AFTER I get Katy ready”
Lyse: “Ooooooooookay” (stated very dramatically)
Me: “Katy do you have your tights on?”
Katy: “Yes, will you let my hair be down?”
Me: “Yes, let’s go get it curled.”
Lyse: “But mom, I need my dress and tights on!”
Me: “Lyse, as soon as I get Katy ready, I will get you dressed and ready.”
Lyse: “Oooooookay”
A few minutes and many curls in Katy’s hair later…
Me: “Katy can you go get your shoes on”
Lyse: “What about mmmmmmmyyyyyyy hair” in a VERY whiny voice
Me: “Lyse, I will get you dressed and your hair done after Katy is completely ready and on the bus”
Lyse: “Oooooookay”
Once Katy was on the bus I finally had a few minutes to get Lyse ready. That is where the REAL drama occurred. First it was the dress she was wearing (it was scratchy). Upon putting a slip on her and making her happy, I left Lyse in the bathroom for 2 minutes while I ran and turned up the heat (it was REALLY cold). When I got back to the bathroom, Lyse had the scissors I had cut Katy’s bangs with in her hands. She had decided to make her hair shorter so it would grow faster. Oh boy! Luckily all major damage was averted as she didn’t have enough time to cut much. I did have to remind her AGAIN that only mommy and people mommy takes her to can cut her hair and she should NEVER play with scissors.
After the scissors incident, Lyse had some issues with breakfast and eating with her dress on. All this time I am thinking…I REALLY need to get some clothes on, going in pajamas would NOT be good. I finally got Lyse happy enough to not whine and ran to the bathroom. I did a QUICK make-up and hair job, threw my clothes and shoes on and grabbed Lyse and ran out the door.
Unfortunately, we didn’t get to school until 8:17 and we were only able to watch as Katy walked back to her seat with her class I missed her getting the award but she will NEVER know. She saw me there after and I think she thinks we were there. She would be heartbroken if she knew we didn’t see her get the award. I feel so bad but I really did run as fast as possible this morning to get it all done. I had hoped that since school doesn’t even start until 8:10 they had just put 8:10 down to get parents there…that wasn’t the case. They really start the assembly at the same time they start school. The kids don’t even go to the classroom until AFTER the assembly is over. I feel horrible that we missed it!
I did get a couple pictures of Katy in her school. One is her with her teacher, Mrs. Murdock, and the Principal. I also got a couple pictures of her school and outside her classroom. Katy’s teacher raved to me about what an amazing girl she was (something I knew but it was GREAT to hear). Mrs. Murdock is such an amazing teacher. Katy is daily telling me how much she loves Mrs. Murdock and how Mrs. Murdock is so nice. I agree! Mrs. Murdock is an extremely positive and uplifting person to be around. Katy really did get an amazing teacher. Her teacher has done more for helping Katy have confidence than I could have ever thought was imaginable in 2 weeks! Mrs. Murdock building Katy’s self-esteem has helped Katy’s kind loving personality shine thoroughly. I know she sees the wonderful, loving, sweet, awesome Katy that I see and she points that out to Katy!
What a blessing to have a teacher find and point out all the positives in the character of your child rather than fret and point out the negatives in struggling to learn this or that! Katy has truly blossomed under that kind of teaching! I am NOT saying her other teachers haven’t been great, they have been; however, I have noticed that they focused a LOT more on the education and where the child was educationally then they did the child as an individual and the character of the child.
Character and virtues are really stressed at this school versus education and grades at Katy’s last school. It is interesting to see the difference. When I did a comparison how the kids tested, I found the schools were EXTREMELY comparable, if not Coronado a bit better. Coronado has won many national awards for education, yet they don’t stress education and an over-abundance of homework!! At Brookwood, Katy felt stress, a LOT of stress, and had homework for at least an hour each night. While she did her best and tried hard I always knew that she didn’t feel good enough, wasn’t doing the expected even though she was doing her best. Here the school stresses virtues, character and self-esteem. Katy has done amazing and her reading is growing leaps and bounds. She is able to be a child and doesn’t have homework daily to the point of exhaustion (of both me and her). For the first time since starting first grade, Katy had a friend come over on a normal day (not the last day of the week) and they were able to play for an hour after school!! All the positive things about her are pointed out daily at school and the reading is mentioned but not the focus of the discussion. That is what my Katy needed!!!!!!!!! I will be EXTREMELY sad to see Katy leave Coronado! I hope and pray all the growth in confidence will come back with her to Utah and she will not go back into the rut of feeling stressed and not good enough. Maybe we will just have to kidnap Mrs. Murdock and take her back to Utah with us
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Today you get a Katy story.
When we knelt down for prayers last night, Katy said her prayer and specifically stated, “please help me with my problems”. Those words coming out of a 6 year old’s mouth cause a bit of concern. My brain was searching over the days events she had told me as she continued and finished her prayer. When she was done I asked her what her problems were, hoping to get some insight into that child’s mind. I find I am worrying more about her due to the fact that she carries the world on her small shoulders. She would take any and every burden from anyone she knew if she could help make them happy. She is one of the most compassionate, loving people I have ever met. On Sunday in church we were asked to think of a person in our lives that represented love. My thoughts immediately went to Katy. She truly has such a gift for love and compassion.
Back to the story. After talking with her a while and finding out only that she would say, “I don’t have any problems, I just want help with them”. I walked away hoping that she was just praying for help if she should need it (although a pit says I still don’t know it all). I went to bed last night extremely concerned and worried about how much that child puts on herself and carries. She would never tell us something that would cause us to be sad. She would hold all that burden in herself forever as long as it protected those she loved. Some of the things she does just yells to me how old and mature her spirit is even though she herself is young.
I was awake staring at the ceiling. Katy had her entire adult life to carry burdens and I hate that she is carrying so many at 6. I have been trying to take her burdens but she doesn’t want to give them. As I knelt in prayer, I decided that I needed to just show and tell Katy that I loved her whenever I got the chance. As I climbed back in bed I felt drawn to her bed. I went in and snuggled my beautiful girl and while snuggling must have fallen asleep. Several hours later I awoke and went to my own bed where Ben was snoring softly. I climbed in and snuggled close to him.
Today as I was readying Katy for school she turned to me and asked, “why did you come in and sleep with me last night?” I honestly didn’t think she knew I was there. She was sound asleep when I went in and sound asleep when I left. I asked how she knew and she just smiled. I told her that I went and snuggled her because I loved her and I was wanting to snuggle her. The smile on her face grew and she asked, “you love me even more than you love dad?” I knew this was a trick question and I had to think on my feet for an answer.
“I love you and your dad. I love your dad in a whole different way. He is my love that I chose and the love I have for you was given to me…it was completely natural. They both grow each day but they are different.” I hoped she wouldn’t ask more but she did. After a while of letting her know that I loved her and her sister as much if not more than any mother could love a child while at the same time loved her father more than anything in the world, the alarm went off signaling it was time to go out to the bus. She gave me a hug and kiss and walked out the door. I hoped she felt loved!
When she was at school, I decided to make homemade bread and chicken noodle soup for dinner. It is a crowd favorite around here and it was COLD this morning so it sounded good. During dinner Katy started talking about love again. I told her how I had always felt loved when my mom had made that bread for me. She smiled HUGE and said, “I feel loved by Grandma too when you make this bread for me!” How does that work? Go figure, Grandma gets the credit for the love even when I do the work How’d you do that mom?!?
Later Katy asked me about the recipe I used to make the bread and I told her the bread was grandma’s recipe. She laughed and said, “ooooh, it is grandma’s SECRET recipe”. She was pretty excited that we had grandma’s secret recipe for making bread! I know the bread made her feel loved. The way she smiled and laughed after tasting the bread made my heart melt! She was so happy and excited that she got “Grandma’s bread”. I guess it doesn’t matter who makes it, it will always be grandma’s!
She mentioned over and over how she knew she was loved. She then was telling us about her friend Kobe and how some won’t play with him but she doesn’t know why cause the bell rang before he was able to tell her completely. After a minute she asked me, “mom do you think I could take some of this bread to Kobe?” Gotta love that homemade bread…there is something extra added to it! I was so grateful that she felts loved; that honestly was one of the biggest reasons I made it. I thought it was so typical Katy that she immediately wanted to share that love she found in the bread with her friend!
To say the least, Katy is taking a lunch from home tomorrow and she is taking extra bread to share I just hope it is as good tomorrow as it was tonight!
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Today I had freedom (Freedom meaning a car of course). The majority of the time in OKC, I have been car-less and hence only explored the regions within close walking proximity to the apartment we are in. This day was different, I had the car.
Here are things that I did that are NOT my usual route (but they were in Utah):
1. I drove Katy to school. Instead of riding the bus this morning, I allowed Katy to sleep in and took her to school (the bus comes about 45 minutes before school starts).
2. I ran some miscellaneous errands. Nothing special and nothing far but I had the ability to do it.
3. (This one I didn’t do as often with Lyse because we had books at home…but) I took Lyse to the library. We didn’t check out even one book, we just sat there reading for a long time. I don’t recall the last time we went to the library and read the books AT the library.
That is the end. I know it may sound boring to some of you but to me, to me it was exciting and an adventure. Not once today dear I hear my dear Toddler tell me she was bored and wished she could go to the other house.
On a side note, here are some Lyse Anecdotes to keep you laughing and smiling.
Saturday night we dropped Ben off at his study group and headed out for a girls night on the town. About 5 minutes after dropping Ben off Lyse states in a very grown-up and edging tears voice, “That’s it mom. I have to go home and pack up my toys. I am moving home to Grandma’s until you can move back to Utah.” I questioned where that came from and her response was a bit funny, a bit heart wrenching and a LOT serious. “I been sitting back here thinking and I have decided that I just miss Grandma too much and Ladybird. If I move back there I can have Grandma and Lady. I have to have my toys though. Those are all my new ones and I can’t leave them!”
I questioned if she would miss me, Katy and Ben.
“Nope. Grandma will take care of me, plus I can just come back if I miss you guys.”
Oh how her little view is skewed right now (at least that is what I am hoping). I am pretty sure she would start to miss us, at least I hope so…oh crap she might not really miss us!
She does love her Grandmas lots and lots. This week on a video conference with her Grandma and Papa she told them she loved and missed them and then tears started to roll down her cheek. She came to my lap and cried and my heart broke a little for her broken heart. Luckily her broken heart mended quickly and she was up and chattering with them shortly thereafter.
Here is one last saying for you all. While talking to my mom she discussed the fact that she no longer wanted to be here Grandma-less. My mom told her she would try to come out and visit and Lyse got a huge smile on her face and said, “Well you better hurry Grandma because we are getting ready for bed, I don’t want to miss you!” My mom was cute to remind her that a plane ride was a few hours and that her visit would have to be another day.
Grandmas be warned…you may just get a phone call from a desperate little one that informs you she is on her way to her house, she has had it with this “Okleehoma place”. (She has also forgotten how long that drive was cause last Saturday she also asked me if we could just please drive on over to Grandmas.)
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All this moving away from my family stuff has definitely made me think about significant growth times in my life. Times where spreading my wings to fly lead to soaring but not without first me plummeting towards the earth at what felt like an insurmountable speeds. This is long…sorry. I do think it has some interesting travel stories in it though
The first time I ever left the state of Utah without my parents I was 14 years old. My cousin, Kara, lived in California and for her 14th birthday it was decided by me and Marci, the other cousin my age; we would fly out and surprise her for her 14 birthday. We had already turned 14 and she was 6 months younger than us. When we brought the idea up to our parents we were SHOCKED when they enthusiastically agreed with us. I remember boarding the plane. They had booked the flight for me under the wrong name. My dad had called and booked the flight for me and my cousin using his sky miles I think. When they booked the flight, they booked it under Marci’s name and my dad’s name. We tried and tried to get it changed and it just wasn’t going to happen. Luckily the little catastrophe happened back in the day that you could fly under any name you chose, even a nick name. Nowadays I would have been out of luck and my dad out of his miles and money.
I remember my mom informing me that if they questioned the name on the ticket to just let them know it was my nickname. Luckily, I was never questioned about my name. I was questioned about my age. Due to the ticket malfunction, when they talked about the rules for the emergency exit and the fact that you had to be 15, my cousin and I were to scared to speak up and let them know we were only 14. After push off from the gate, the flight attendant walked past. She for some reason decided to question our age. Not being able to tell a lie, we were scared and upright that we were 14. We tried to excuse it that technically we were in our 15th year and only a couple months away from actually being 15.
The flight attendant was visibly concerned about the situation. The flight was booked and completely filled and the pilots were readying for take-off. She told us to wait a minute, walked back to some other flight attendants then came back and asked us to remember we were 15. She also reminded us that in the event of an emergency we would have to help. Being naive and excited for the responsibility we agreed.
The flight was uneventful and we arrived in California just on time. We successfully surprised my cousin and I was able to experience Northern California for the first time. I had left the nest of my parents and even though I was still with family, I was soaring on my own. Of course there was drama – 3 teenage girls together NON-STOP for 7 days is bound to bring some drama. I remember the call home and begging to come home or have my mom fix it. What a wise mom I have. She lovingly told me that I had chosen to do this and that we needed to be mature and work it out. We did just that.
The proceeding years my wings stayed firmly in the family nest. I didn’t leave the state or go on a vacation without my family until my senior year in high school. That year I was in choir and we had choir tour. Honestly, no growth is attached to that outing. While I was away from my family, I was completely supervised and watched over. It was a fun couple days with my friends from school.
After graduating high school, I had planned on moving out and going to college. As the events unfolded I ended up at a local community college. The local college wasn’t the plan nor was I stuck there due to grades. I am grateful for those years I lived at home. I had a great job and learned so much being the legal secretary. The attorneys I worked for were AMAZING and honestly I have to say, they were rather understanding of my youth. I also grew closer to my family at this time. My parents vacationed frequently and at times we went with them and other times the kids stayed home and I supervised it all. It was a great time that I grew very close to my parents and younger siblings. While this time was great, it didn’t lead to a lot of soaring on my own.
While living at home and working for the law school, I made decent money and had very FEW expenses. A trip with my girlfriends to Hawaii for spring break was planned. I was 20 years old and had never been to Hawaii. It was a great adventure but it was also a time that I nose-dived before maneuvering forward.
The trip was great but definitely cost more than I planned. I had never planned a vacation. I had just always gone on the vacation with my parents and my parents had paid. I had never had to worry about a following a vacation budget, much less creating, funding and following it. This trip was such an AWESOME experience but more than that it was a HUGE learning time for me.
I remember running out of money (it was WAY more expensive there than originally thought and planned for). I wasn’t the only one that hadn’t realized that “just taking a taxi” would end up costing a small fortune each time. All us were completely out of money (luckily room and other stuff were prepaid). I had taken $700 thinking it would be plenty once we got there since flights and rooms were already paid for. It wasn’t! As the money issues hit us all, some still insisted up doing this and that while other just wanted to hit the FREE beach and lay low. This of course caused much tension. It SUCKED. Hawaii had been a paradise up until that point. Why do girls always have to have drama?!?
While in the midst of being out of money and dealing with the lovely drama of our room, I had the immense, blazing homesick overcome me. I had just enough on a calling card to call home. I explained the amazing beaches to my mom and told her about the awesome time we had on the Big Island and while at the Polynesian Cultural Center. After a while I finally broke down my pride and spilled my guts about everything else. Can I say I have perceptually wise parents? They asked if I had enough for food for the last 2 days of the trip. When I said yes they then advised that I would be ok. My mom calmed me down and reminded me she was too far away to “fix” my problem. Since I did have enough money for some food no money was deposited in my account. I was told that if there was an emergency I could call collect and money would be put in my account. As I hung the phone up in my “tropical paradise” I had a sudden sense that I would be okay and I was the only one that could make or break my situation.
Since there were some things that required money but I still wanted to see and do, I admit thoroughly embarrassed I did the “big bag” thing. Breakfast at our hotel was free. It was the typical continental breakfast offered by hotels. Each morning, me and the girls decided to go to breakfast eat until full and then make sure to take enough with us to last the rest of the day. It worked. My food money was then free. I was able to purchase a few trinkets and enjoy the snorkeling. The snorkeling was far away but we discovered local bus routes and took those. It was my first time snorkeling and I LOVED it. It was amazing! This was the time my wings spread and as I was plummeting without the ability to get help from my parent, I found I could soar.
I haven’t mentioned all my huge growth times (such as moving to Ogden, Utah to attend Weber State or when I moved back to SLC to marry the love of my life). While those 2 things, especially the latter, have had immense growing and soaring involved in them, they didn’t involve other states. I decided to keep this post to growths I have experiences by living in other states!
This week in Oklahoma I have found that this is another time that I can soar to a higher height. It has been through a lot of encouragement from an amazing husband and from the wonderful comments left on here that I have remembered my past troubles. This week has eerily reminded me of the first few months of Ben and my marriage…poorer than poor but finding a way to make it. This isn’t always easy, I understand that. Today the sun was bright and I felt some relief. I tackled the scary world of bills and when they were due. Upon tackling the fear of bills I felt a freedom. I know we will make it. Those had being hanging over me, threatening. Knowledge brought peace with this.
The sun shone a bit brighter and I was able to see so many positives in my life. I have an AMAZING life. My husband and children are the best in the world. My parents and siblings are caring and wonderful. My in-laws are great. While this time has been and will be tough (like my honey being gone until midnight on a Friday night) I know I will make it through. Something I wasn’t sure about earlier this week!
Thanks for all the support guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
